INSPO x THOUGHTS: WHAT IS LOVE? Defining love and happiness.

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Art makes you feel things // Mirror art installed by Raif Adelberg.

Taken at an art exhibit at Fortune Sound Club in Vancouver, BC, Canada.


Here’s a truth I’ve grown to realize through friends and experiences of my own: love is not always enough. Sounds cynical, doesn’t it?

Trust me, this isn’t some angry message written by a scorned lover, jaded by love. In fact, I love love. Having a crush, being infatuated and chasing love are all wonderful feelings, and being IN love is probably one of the warmest, happiest experiences a human can be privileged enough to know.

What I mean is, beyond that, what makes a relationship truly lasting is much bigger than just love itself or attraction to another individual (although attraction is of course, very important). After all, being loved and loving another does not denote the presence of positive traits in either individual. You can love someone despite their downfalls and flaws – but is love enough to look past them and would you truly be undeniably happy? Would that type of love be deep, mature, patient and kind?

The truth is, we can absolutely fall in love with what isn’t good for us; people do it all the time. Whether out of infatuation, habit, immaturity, self-delusion or simply bad timing, we fall in love with men and women who are selfish, stingy, calculative, manipulative, shallow, unsupportive, controlling, abusive, passive aggressive or exhaustingly pessimistic. Those with views so different from ours, it brings on more stress than it does happiness because the communication is non-existent and the respect is lacking; whose life goals end up being so far from our own, that a life together may mean being forced to make unbalanced compromises. Or even those who are seemingly perfect, but in a split second can turn into someone you hardly recognize or like. And most importantly, when all is said and done, the people who simply do not bring out the absolute best in us – even if we love them with all our hearts.

Beyond love, we need somebody that we can:

+ Laugh with in moments of happiness or strife
+ Rely on for support and to be there when it counts
+ Express ourselves to with minimal fear of judgment
+ Communicate with, even in times of anger or disappointment
+ Trust to never intentionally hurt or guilt-trip us, or hold a grudge
+ Freely be generous with because it is a two-way street
+ Comfortably explore with in life, adventure, the bedroom, etc.
+ Not have to worry about when they are out of sight or reach

But most importantly, going back to what I was saying, when the right person for you stumbles into your life, you’ll know because all of a sudden you’re going to want to be the best version of you you can possibly be – whatever that may mean for you in your life.

Being more considerate, less selfish. More confident, less insecure. More generous, less calculative. Healthier, fitter. More sensitive, less callous. Going after your dreams. Working hard. Open to trying new things.

All of a sudden you are covered by a blanket of warmth, like a safety net that you know is there when you need it but does not hover, or attempt to suppress who you are. You are not restricted, but free to be yourself and explore without fear of losing love. It feels quiet and peaceful like you’re coming home, yet you’ve never laughed so hard or had so much fun in your life. It’s not an unrealistic love, nor is it always pleasant and may even be far from perfect, but the underlying message is always the same:

I will love you and support you to the best of my ability; and if the time comes I can no longer do that, or we’ve ceased to bring out the best in each other, I will let you go.

Because real love is always selfless. And for those of you going through heartbreak right now, time heals all wounds. And just know that when you are ready, you will find someone, or experience multiple wonderful someones over your lifetime, whom you deserve and will deserve you in the best sense possible. But even if you don’t, always remember that the deepest love runs within yourself.

Who knows. I’m only 24, so my perspective on love may change again; but for now, this is how I choose to define it. Have you ever been in love?

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Two Cream, One Spoonful Glitter.

Because life’s too short not to indulge in the goodness of a rich cream, or gold glitter.

P.S. I take my coffee black.

Taken at home as an impromptu creative shoot with RedBow Creative.

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M MISSONI x THE CIRCUS Spring/Summer 2016 Campaign

I find oftentimes with minimalistic fashion ad campaigns, that the end product can look a bit bland and dare-I-say, boring? Of course, on the other hand, when done right it can also be so deliciously simple, à la Céline.

M Missoni is another brand, perhaps a little underrated, that has proven time and time again their understanding of the aesthetic joys of balanced simplicity. I love how fresh this campaign feels; the muted vibrance of it, so light, effortless and easy. Each shot has a palpable essence of vivre and passion, but more importantly, it doesn’t take itself too seriously and lets the fashion speaks for itself.

It is ads like these (whether from high street or high fashion) that lure me into wanting to make a purchase, despite the designs being 100% opposite of what I would normally gravitate towards. Why? Because ultimately I believe, everyone wants to experience and be immersed in a great story – which is often achieved by a lethal combination of a ingenious marketing, authentic design, artful creative direction and a photographer/videographer who has the ability to capture it all.

And this is one story and fashion moment in time I wouldn’t mind being a part of. Plus, have you seen their colourful array of raffia clutches? What’s there not to love?

A Message from M Missoni:

Playfully upbeat perfect for sparkling both smiles and dreams, bringing a sense of humour to the forefront, here’s the Spring/Summer 2016 collection, clearly referencing to a unique world: the circus.

Model: Mathilde Brok Brandi
Photographer: Mel Bles
Art Director: Jasmine Raznahan
Stylist: Vanessa Reid
Hairstylist: Christian Eberhard
MUA: Isamaya Ffrench

M Missoni SS 2016 (2)M Missoni SS 2016M Missoni SS 2016 (3)M Missoni ss 2016 (4)

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Taken on Tsing Mah Bridge in Hong Kong, China.

So, I suppose I’ve become one of those people I hate. I am the epitome of procrastination at its finest, and it is a goal of mine to stop this behaviour (or, lack thereof) immediately! Or at the very least, try to curb it. Although, sometimes it does work to my advantage – so I tell myself.

It’s been a strange last 6 months. Lots of changes in my life, lots of introspection, the comings and goings of people. Lots of happiness and sadness. Simply put, a lot of soul searching was needed and in its process, I’ve had a hard time finding my groove.

I was stuck in a perpetual cycle of desperately needing a creative outlet (bursting in fact), yet being unable to think of anything to say, photograph, do, or create; nor could I find the motivation to do the things I loved or kept telling myself I was going to do! Things such as writing more, booking a role in a play, exploring deeper into photography, experimenting with paint and canvas, toying with the idea of vlogging, reaching out to XYZ businesses to garner more clients for my co-founded company RedBow Creative, getting my driver’s license, the list goes on. Can anyone else relate to this?

On top of which, I was often too tired or distracted by my personal life. As a result, the days just slipped away, and I was suffocating while losing my sense of individuality (that, I am still trying to rediscover). And the cycle went on and on.. almost like when you know you shouldn’t reach for those chips and should probably go to the gym instead, only to end up eating the entire bag, not going to the gym, and feeling progressively shittier and shittier until you just don’t know what to do with yourself anymore! Not speaking from personal experience or anything..

But don’t worry, there is a light at the end of the tunnel! A very bright one, in fact. Getting out of my little rut has certainly been a slow journey for me, but I think I’m finally getting there. *knocks on wood*

Important Things I’ve Re-Learned Over the Past Two Years:

+ taking things one day at a time (being patient with oneself)
+ adding mental structure and discipline into daily tasks (from work to health to simply doing the chores that I don’t want to)
+ life is so very short and time ought not to be wasted (dreams don’t just appear out of thing air, people!)
+ you are the captain of your ship and are solely responsible for your own happiness
+ STOP comparing yourself to others; it is toxic and a waste of time
+ not to downplay or minimize your own achievements, talent, or sparkle just to make others feel better or more comfortable (a little ego never hurt nobody, take credit for your greatness!!)
+ music is amazing, and why did I stop actively listening to it? Radio and bars don’t count.

..I really thought this list would be longer, and it probably is, but I have a headache.

So, for now, there you go. I hope this is the beginning of many things to come. Lots of art, rants, the nitty gritty, travel, and other creative pursuits.

And if you’ll have me, let’s go on an adventure together.

Follow me on Instagram @misscarlytan
Sundaylovexo Blog

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